When mother / son talks become mother / daughter talks
Here’s an other writing I posted on Fetlife. I wrote it on July 5th, 2 days after I visited my mother for dinner.
2 days ago I visited my mother for dinner to kill time between 2 appointment I had in Amsterdam. Before you think I’ve abused her to fill up the time-gap: no I was honest about it and I also told her I’d visit her as a woman and not her son.
When I rang the bell and she opened the main door down stairs she greeted me with a ‘Hi son‘ down the stairs. She lives on the 3rd floor and after having walked for almost 2 hours on my heeled boots I was pretty much beaten. I took of the boots (FINALLY!) and we greeted warmly – I’m so happy she has fully accepted me as I am in such a short time. She also complimented me on how well I looked.
After a bit of chit-chatting I corrected her on the ‘Hi son‘ greeting she did earlier on. I told her about how to interact with a transgender. I told her that when a transgender is (on the outside) represents himself as male you need to address him with ‘he’ or ‘him’ and when she represents as female with ‘she’ or ‘her’ (I’m not sure how the ‘they’ and ‘their’ reflect in Dutch, but I don’t care at the moment – when not obviously dressed as female either is good for me).
My mother said she’s give it a try to remember and address me the right way, but that it’ll be hard for her because she’s been addressing me as male for 50 years. And I can understand this completely. I did ask her to really try to when we’re in public and I’m representing myself as female and she’ll try that for sure. When in private I won’t mind a slip from time to time though, but we agreed that I’d remind/correct her of the error she makes then.
Well, that being said… As always we had long and nice chat and after an hour or so the conversation of catching up took a (for me) odd turn. We went from our researches/projects (which is what we regularly talk about, along with deep spiritual conversation) to a pretty intimate mother / daughter conversation. And these were conversation I’d never thought to have with my mother at all.
At first we spoke about dressing and more of how the current generation of women makes it pretty easy for their self by wearing jeans on which basically anything can be worn as top and on top of that mostly they wear the most hideous sneakers. While wearing a skirt or dress, you have to think about the whole attire to make it work.
When wearing a dress, you have to think about panties/stockings and shoes/boots as well as necklaces. Wearing a skirt complicates things even more because you also have to find a well matching top for it.
And then the ‘dress code’ for shoes when wearing skirts and dresses. You need to keep in mind on how long the skirt/dress is before deciding on to wearing stockings or panties (we agreed that wearing stockings on a too short a skirt makes you look slutty) and what shoes/boots to wear and the height of their heels.
When we came at the heel height we had a nice and long talk about that. My mother can’t walk on them at all, and even the block heels under my boots wouldn’t help her for stability. She has great respect for me to be able to walk on them, even more that I walked over one and a half hour from Amsterdam Central station to her house in Amsterdam South (I did get a lot of positive looks and even a compliment from a woman on how I was dressed).
We also spoke about the very high spiked heals and how hard those are to walk on and that not many women can actually walk on them. Yes, quite a number of women wear them and (try to) walk on them, but a lot of them seem to have problems keeping their balance, making you wonder when they tip over to either the left or right side 😆
And then the real intimate conversation started. Breasts, bras and such. Really a topic I never ever thought to be talking about with my mother! 😆
She wanted to know how I made it possible for my breasts to grow (I did tell her shortly in the past). I explained her about the high progesterone natural sources like soy and fenugreek, the difference between them (soy containing antiandrogen while fenugreek stimulates testosterone production a bit), the risks of taking these natural estrogen and steroid blockers supplements and that kind of things.
Form there we came to the topic of chi massage and how to apply it. My mother was particularly interested in it because her breasts are ‘hanging’ a bit because of her age (she’s almost 72 BTW) and wants to make them a bit firm again.
And we ended about bras – wearing wired or not being a fun discussion. What to wear when sporting (yoga for her, the gym for me) and telling each other on what we think is a personal best feeling to wear – I was wearing a slight push up wired bra at the moment.
And that’s in short how our conversations made a fun, though for me weird, turn to mother / daughter talks 😉