17 August 2020

Changes after 2 months of hormones

By Alexa

I wanted to write this post last week, but because of that quite long tropical heat wave we had in Europe I wasn’t up for it at all. Even during the early morning it was already 25C and it would raise quickly to 30C+ in a matter of hours 🌑🌑 Needless to say that I was too fatigued and had massive headaches because of it πŸ™

Mental Changes

Like most (elder) transgenders I am plagues by a lot of mental problems. I know, I have written about them more than once but I have to go through them one more time (and hopefully the last time!).

Asperger's Syndrome

I’ve been diagnosed with autism almost 10 years ago already. And while I still think this diagnosis is right, I do notice quite some changes in my ‘social disability’. I have opened up quite a lot and am more and more social toward others. I still notice my ‘social disability’ at times, but that might also be a remnant of how closed I was because of my inner conflict.


ADD, the mental ‘version’ of ADHD. Just look at kids jumping around on the playground and imagine that in your head 24/7 – that’s what I feel. Add to that the Asperger’s syndrome and you get a constant (speeding) train of thought.
I still feel the train of thought but it has slowed down a lot. I can sort them out and control them more than I ever could!

My Bipolar Disorder

I have read somewhere an article from a bipolar (cis) woman taking valproic acid who noticed massive changes to her moods during her period. These mood changes came from the increases levels of oestrogen in her body.Β This made me wonder if and how it would affect me.

Lowered Medication Levels

The elevated oestrogen levels in my body did not notice change in my moods. Actually, since I started with the hormones I felt better than ever before! This made me wonder if I could phase out my medication.

2 weeks after I started taking hormones I lowered the valporic acid intake from 2x 450mg to 2x 300mg a day and that went extremely good! With the lowered intake I didn’t notice any negative mood effects.

Phasing Out Medication

With the lowered intake of valporic acid going so well I contacted my psychiatrist and suggested to phase out my medication completely and he agreed!

Because of the risk of severe side effects when quitting lamotrigine I had to phase is out gradually, halving it for 2 weeks and the next 2 weeks taking a quarter. At the moment I am in the last 2 days of the quarter of the original dosage and all goes very well!

The same phasing out schedule was agreed upon for the valporic acid and like the lamotrigine I have only 2 days to go before I can quit taking my meds completely!Β 

Bodily Changes

It’s not only my mental state where I notice the changes from the hormones. My body is changing rapidly now as well and these changes are quite visible to the outside.

My skin for example is no longer as dry is it used to be and this certainly shows itself more in my face.

I used to have a very dry (manly) facial skin, but the last few weeks I have noticed that the skin is getting more and more moisturised. In the past I had to use make up on a daily basis to hide that dry skin, but these days I can opt not to.

Breast Growth

Like I posted last time, my breasts are undergoing the biggest changes (pun intended). Yes, they are growing fast now!

NSFW (Not Safe For Work):   Show

The growth also has a downside though. With my breasts growing pretty fasts, my bras start to become too small. While this is a much wanted result, I like some of my more sexy bras (as the one shown in the NSFW image) and I will miss them when I cannot wear them anymore.

Now the problem of new bras arise. Should I buy new ones or get them 2nd hand? Not only from the financial point of view (I pay between €1 and €5 for a brand bra 2nd hand), but also because I am unsure of how fast and big my breasts will grow.

Don’t forget that the growth I have experienced the last 2 months is quite massive! My breasts used to be a small cup B when I started using hormones and now they are a full cup B. They show quite nicely under my shirt when wearing non-padded bras.

I have read on a forum a while back that breast growth is a progressive one. The increase of the cup size is about double the time it too to achieve the current size. This means that if the growth of my breasts continues like this I might be looking at a cup C in roughly 6 to 9 months from now.

I hope you liked this small update. With that, I will not make it a habit to post pictures of my breasts like the one I posted today. I just used it because it shows how beautifully they have grown recently.

With love Alexa πŸ’•πŸ’‹